The Nights and the Lights That We Fade In
by paper smiles
Summary: Light wincest. Mainly brotherly love. Dean likes to name stars after those he loves.


_The Nights and the Lights That We Fade In_

Sam had gotten into the habit of falling asleep wherever he could. His year off had taken his ability to run on three hours of sleep for at least two days. Dean would find him asleep in the Impala sometimes, or he'd come back to the motel room to find his head buried in his laptop keyboard.

Dean always let him sleep. Sam would always groggily ask why Dean hadn't woken him up, and Dean always replied with the same sentence.

_Because I'm an awesome brother._

Sam would dismiss his comment with a nod or a playful eye roll and ask what had happened. If it was an easy enough case Dean would already have most if not all of it figured out. It was less work Sam would have to do.

With everything that had happened they rarely had a moment to themselves anymore. They were always working. Sometimes Dean would joke to himself on how he had more of a break during the apocalypse. Things were harder now with Crowley, and Benny, too. So when Dean got the opportunity to take a load off, he took it gratefully.

"Hey, Sam!" He called out to his brother, who was in between sleep and consciousness. He jutted awake and immediately responded with a groggy, "Huh?"

"Look."

Sam turned to his brother, a curious look on his face, "A national park? Kevin's there?"

"Of course not. Well, maybe. I don't know, but I'd bet he's not. I'm taking you out, Sammy." Dean gestured to the coffee they had bought sometime on their way with his right hand, "It's been a while since we've been able to take a break."

"And the bars-"

"Don't ruin the moment, Sam."

Sam laughed, "Okay, Dean. Thanks, by the way."

"No problem," his lips formed a small smile. He drove the impala as far as he could towards the park, which ultimately wasn't that far. He ended up parking his baby in a parking lot beside the entrance of the national park.

"So what now?" Sam asked, his hand on the door of the impala.

Dean didn't respond to the question. He opened the door to the car and stepped outside. Sam came up next to him not too long after. Dean stretched as Sam took in the surroundings.

Trees, mountains, and a waterfall off into the distance. The sun had gone down long ago, the majority of the park's beauty with it. Sam could only imagine horrors occurring in the dark gaps between the trees. But when he looked to the sky he understood Dean's need to stop. They had seen many skies like this, but he knew to appreciate a beautiful night when he saw one.

The sky was array with stars, and few clouds that had been whisked by the breeze and decorated the sky along with the stars.

Dean had propped himself up on the hood of the impala, Sam did the same. The two didn't fit on the hood anymore; they hadn't for a long time. Yet time and time again there they would be, lying on the hood. The two had to scrunch their legs in order to get into comfortable positions, but they always managed.

The two rested their heads on the windshield of the car. Dean rested his left hand behind his neck and turned to his right to face Sam, who didn't turn to meet his gaze.

How his brother had grown.

Dean remembers when he went to go get Sam at Stanford. His face was softer, his eyes held less pain, and his heart wasn't nearly as heavy. Dean supposed he could say the same for himself. Sam had let his hair grow out the years that followed, and in Dean's opinion it had gotten pretty ridiculous, not that he'd ever tell Sam, though. Along with his hair, the burden Sam carried grew. He never wanted this life; Dean never wanted this life for him. He was forced to make choices and do things he never wanted anything to do with in the first place.

It wasn't directly Dean's fault, but he was sorry anyway. It was one of the things that haunted Dean at times, what Sam had become. It wasn't exactly a bad thing, but if he could take it all back, and send Sam back to Stanford, have him marry Jess like he wanted to, Dean would do it a thousand times, no matter the cost. Sam's happiness meant more to Dean than anything in the world. On the rare occasion that Sam would smile like he used to, that smile Dean learned to love at a young age, it always gave Dean some hope; hope that not all was lost. Things could still be fixed; there was still a light at the end of the ridiculously long tunnel they drove through. If Sam could find it in him to smile like that, then Dean could find it in him to live through another week.

Sam finally turned to face Dean, a curious look in his eyes, "This is nice." He said, a small grin on his face.

Dean wanted to reply with a snarky comment, something to make his brother laugh, or roll his eyes playfully, but nothing came to mind. He settled for a simple response, "Yeah."

Dean turned back to the sky, his eyes darting to the brightest star. Sam, he thought, that was Sam. The brightest thing amongst a sea of darkness, the one who shone despite whatever was put in his way, what showed Dean exactly where he needed to be. And that was right beside Sam.

Beside the brightest star, two were shining, not quite as bright, but they were there, above it. Mom and dad. His right hand wandered down to Sam's wrist, where he wrapped his hand around it. Sam said nothing and let it happen.

Dean continued looking at the stars. Amongst them he spotted Jo and Ellen, and even Ash. He picked out his uncle Bobby, the brightest star amongst a cluster of dull ones to his far right. Dean got lost in memories after that. Nothing too bad, jokes at the Harvelle's, novellas with Bobby, and other small memories Dean had saved.

A light snore brought him out of his thoughts. He turned his head to face Sam, who had fallen asleep and then down to their hands. He wasn't sure when it had happened, but their hands were intertwined. Dean didn't mind. Sam appeared to be in a peaceful state of slumber, but Dean knew it was only a matter of time before Sam tried to turn and fell off the car. Dean adjusted himself so he was on his knees looking down at Sam. He outstretched his right hand and lightly traced his brother's cheekbone before cautiously leaning down to kiss his forehead.

"Sammy," Dean whispered once he'd gotten off the car, "Sammy come on, you're gonna fall off the car and I'm gonna laugh at you."

Sam groaned and sat up, he swung his legs over the side, stood up and quickly made his way back into the car. Dean grinned and stepped back into the driver's seat not too long after, but not before taking his jacket off. He flung it over his brother and started the car. Sam shifted slightly at the sound of the motor.

With one last look at his baby brother, Dean shifted the impala's gear and drove off.


End file.
